December 2011
When you predict something and it actually happens →
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My life on a Saturday night
heyfunniest:
Expectations:
Reality:
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teacher: e-mail me the assignment by monday. I’ll need your e-mail address. me: teacher: me: teacher: me: teacher: me: teacher: me: tastybitch69@aol.com
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The 3 most common lies on the internet
heyfunniest:
1. I have read and agree to the terms of service
2. Status: Offline
3. Yes, I am over 18.
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What your family thinks you're doing when they're... →
heyfunniest:
What you’re really doing: Then they get home and you’ve done nothing now you’re like:
Mah Boo?!!
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Me: Do you want any help, Mom? Mom: No thanks, sweetie. 5 minutes later… Mom: HONEST TO GOD, IT’S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE. IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK, I’D COME BACK, AND YOU’D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES. HONESTLY, I DO SO MUCH, AND I’M NOT EVEN VALUED. DO YOU EVEN CARE? NO, YOU DON’T.
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“Nobody tells an actor, ‘you’re playing a strong-minded man.’ We assume that men...”
– Meryl Streep, on being told that she often plays “strong-minded women.”
(via andyouhavetogivethemhope)
“when i was 16, i had a fake i.d. and decided to go to a gay bar by myself...”
– god bless drag queens (via didyouhearmekitten)
This is my favourite story about anything ever. Seriously. So much love.
(via fuckyeahsexeducation)
This is fucking awesome (via porcelainblainers)
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Did you know that in Denmark students are paid for... →
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I may be the slowest in PE class, but on the... →
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READ THIS. →
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My exact reaction to this:
\
Mah Boo would do this.
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Clients From Hell: Client: I’m looking for VERY... →
clientsfromhell:
Client: I’m looking for VERY edgy photos for my wedding. Should be an all day job, with 6 hours of posed photos with the wedding party. I’ll need a DVD of all of the edited photos in high resolution and you will be compensated $150. I may also be willing to let you do a ‘Trash the Dress’ shoot…
People are fucking assholes.
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012...
Michelle Bachmann: "Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul: "The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry: "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney: "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich: "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum: "Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann: "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney: "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)
give me time. and a crayon.: “Twilight” as a... →
fuckyeahfeminists:
Bella is warned by numerous people and events throughout the course of the story that she is actively pursuing her own destruction – but she’s so dependent on Edward and caught up in the idea of the romance that she refuses to see the situation for what it is. Charlie…
How does she give up herself? She wants to be a vampire to be with Edward, AND? So you are telling me if...
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Every girl I know is like →
“I’m spending the holidays SINGLE this year”
And I’m like, “I spend my holidays single every year”
Things that you didn't know: →
heyfunniest:
Worms may have up to 9 hearts.
You can die laughing.
If sharks get upside down they fall into a coma.
Turtles can breathe through their tails.
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